so this has hit me like a bus tonight

it is ironic that i had begun a story about clay today and that the gist of it is meant to be 'clay has taught me about second chances'

perhaps that is it - that clay has become a world where second chances are in abundance and not painful to receive. my patience was also honed in the times when i had to hand out my own second chances to clay that would not cooperate.

in the real world second chances are sometimes the kind of blessing that lightens the heart and causes a spring in the step. other times plenty a time often nearly always second chances are sharp-edged. a steeper climb. a bridge to be crossed that hangs on worn twine, creaking under the weight. the weight of me.