to what extent is it okay? i'm not sure. i just deleted an entry i was writing because i couldn't focus. there is so much to remember. remembering wouldn't be remembering if it weren't an afterthought, of course, but i just wonder why my brain savors it for a long while before it can come out in words. wonder why i am silenced by beauty; speechless. wonder how i can keep a moment in my head for so long. and i wonder if it's a bad thing.
a very condensed version of what i tried to write earlier:
Highway Through Skyway conversations. women of the page. breathing words that transcend time. yesterday i felt a yearning to be as outspoken in person as i used to be. was the change because of a different kind of wisdom? one that didn't need to be proven? the message board will ignite.
zeteo night ("bible study" just doesn't cut it, no?). speak up or burn inside. the words aren't mine. its breath isn't mine. feel the Presence. know the Presence. john 1:3. a prayer. one more month, a million more to come. kath did it again, saying what a small voice cried in my heart. my body was so alive after that. i felt hot tears down my cheek. felt a very tiny wind.. a whisper of air.. on my arm. i felt kath's physical presence getting nearer because she pushed the air. how did that happen? i felt my heartbeat. i felt kathy's while she hugged me. i felt the gulping movement in the throat while she cried. i felt cheek muscles contract and expand. i felt my hair sticking to my face because of my tears and the trail my running nose made. i felt air from kathy's mouth as she said, "now write that blog, dammit."
not sure how i could feel all of that, but there it was. everything was exaggerated. everything was a grand movement. my life in that moment was a grand movement. maybe that's God.
looks like that didn't turn out so condensed after all. i ended up picking up where i left off. maybe blogging in the createpost box in blogger is my key.
a very condensed version of what i tried to write earlier:
Highway Through Skyway conversations. women of the page. breathing words that transcend time. yesterday i felt a yearning to be as outspoken in person as i used to be. was the change because of a different kind of wisdom? one that didn't need to be proven? the message board will ignite.
zeteo night ("bible study" just doesn't cut it, no?). speak up or burn inside. the words aren't mine. its breath isn't mine. feel the Presence. know the Presence. john 1:3. a prayer. one more month, a million more to come. kath did it again, saying what a small voice cried in my heart. my body was so alive after that. i felt hot tears down my cheek. felt a very tiny wind.. a whisper of air.. on my arm. i felt kath's physical presence getting nearer because she pushed the air. how did that happen? i felt my heartbeat. i felt kathy's while she hugged me. i felt the gulping movement in the throat while she cried. i felt cheek muscles contract and expand. i felt my hair sticking to my face because of my tears and the trail my running nose made. i felt air from kathy's mouth as she said, "now write that blog, dammit."
not sure how i could feel all of that, but there it was. everything was exaggerated. everything was a grand movement. my life in that moment was a grand movement. maybe that's God.
----
looks like that didn't turn out so condensed after all. i ended up picking up where i left off. maybe blogging in the createpost box in blogger is my key.
1 comment:
you're doing it slick. you're doing it. hahaha. COOLIO.
now this is what i'm talking about.
grandness is possible in all moments. if we take time to hear our hearts beat with it.
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