waiting

sitting in a rocking chair waiting for choir practice to begin. no one is here yet, the elders will drip in slowly, mostly with heavy feet that carry either a little too much weight or weak joints or ailments. this choir has been alive for as long as i have been, and maybe only half are the original faces and the number is dwindling and there are more flat notes than desireable... but still they come, still they do this act and commitment of praise.

i haven't been here in the longest time but lately my lola's guilt-tripping has been getting to my heart. this week has been an insane tugging-in-all-directions on the heart... and it's only wednesday. and it's holy week. 

the last times i was part of the good friday mass and with the choir, k was breaking wide open. whatever is to unfold this week... Lord i trust that You hold her. hold all of us. 

having a hard time with hardheadedness. i have been on the other side before and carrying a hard head is heavy on the shoulders and the heart and the brain is constantly imploding. i can only wait for the time he is desperate enough and is floored enough to surrender that weight. he doesn't talk to me. v says he is processing himself. i hope that the bridge is building. get over that highway. let's go. there is kingdom work to do!!