lying on my belly as it struggles to break down pasta that i had in a bit of excess for dinner. since the training (where it was mentioned that one of the number 1 triggers for stress was carbohydrates) i have been trying to cut down on the sugar. all round. since i last got sick my appetite had dipped again and i'm not eating as much carbs as i had begun to grow into taking since i got back. but tonight was careless in intake and now i'm bloated.
i dealt with slow walking at the mall today. and i dealt with my slow computer. i thought that perhaps my short fuse in slowness of things is projection of my own frustration with myself for being slow.
a kind of despair hit like a bus just an hour ago and it feels like there isn't much to say because talking makes me stay there. i could go into more detail but at the moment i don't feel like it would be healthy or productive. we have heard the story over and over. articulated the untruth time and again.. so i am going to read for at least half an hour before falling asleep.
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