grow

if it turns out that i actually do get my period tomorrow it’s going to be the biggest joke / punchline ever.

i feel like today was a significant day that should be processed in writing but i also feel like i process too much. or dwell too much. maybe i can try to be concise

i am overwhelmed by love. and by the grace of the Father that is just completely washing over this Family.

i feel like st therese of lisieux. "i was so oversensitive i was unbearable."

i am encouraged by her journey.

i don't feel like i am naturally soft. in fact i am probably a pretty damn tough cookie in all other aspects of my life and with all other people. but i have become soft in this Family. particularly with k. it feels like there is a lot at stake for me, like i am just on the edge, or just have one foot in the door. and i feel like i could get kicked out at any moment. this is silly. i haven't forgiven myself, i am slow; everyone else has.

there is a big thing about my nature that needs to change and this Family is where there are people accountable for me that will make sure that shit gets the hell out.

-

emceed the school's recognition day for the preschoolers finishing the year. they call it 'moving up day'. the theme revolved around grow.

my heart was full when one of the kids attacked me from behind. he is a pretty big kid and has a lot of energy so i would have been knocked over if my knee joints didn't kick in to keep from buckling. he was one of the first kids i was able to connect with when i started work at the school. and miraculously he's always remembered me. it's pretty perfect that he was the only kid i got to get a photo with this day.