be

friday night finds me quiet on my bed and being grateful for the lack of stress and anxiety. maybe i can even say a presence of peace.

i think that this week i have discovered that perhaps the best time for writing for me is in the morning. or at least it is when i need it most. because maybe, probably, i am not yet beyond being able to function in this world without checking up on myself this way as much as i can within the schedule of three times a day.

life knocked today and in much better fashion than the very recent past i have been able to rush up with all of me to meet it. choosing to not be controlled by my fear, awkwardness, and basically more fear.

i know i'm in here somewhere.

i will find myself as i keep choosing life. truth. light.

there are some moments where i am fully absorbed in what is happening, and i am not thinking about other things, and this is when i know i am fully present. and i can feel peace. l'engle talked about this - i just tried to find the quote but cannot. she was talking about a dinner party.

losing myself to find myself.