gather

i was reading the Word just seconds ago as a prelude to writing, and i felt it. i caught the moment. i was focused and i was absorbing the word and then suddenly i was thinking about what had to be done for work on Monday. i became aware of it in a way that i could tell it was something foreign in my train of thought for this morning. it was clear that it was an evil force trying to distract me.

it happened as i was about to read the paragraph of reflection that talked about the to opposing kingdoms: the kingdom of God and the kingdom of darkness which satan has rule over. and before i knew it i was at the end of the paragraph and was thinking about clay and everything i needed to accomplish like buying materials and the ideal things that would happen like maybe i would try and message p to go to the furniture fair happening this weekend just to see if he replies. 

i read the paragraph again and immediately felt mirrored in terms of what had just happened. all that keeps me from God is from the kingdom of darkness and i have been been distanced from God for so long. before the fault of my environment, the people and the circumstances around me... it is my fault. i depended on light illuminating me from other places. depended on light of others. 

whoever does not gather with me scatters. whenever struggle causes a great distance, that is me scattering. in Jesus pain and struggle should draw us ever closer to Him and each other. people have been drawing close and it is me who scatters, who falls to the floor in shame. 

this morning God tells me that He is here. and that He is more powerful than the kingdom of darkness. He tells me that His light will shine everywhere. He tells me that if i am with Him, i cannot be lost. cannot lose. we cannot lose this battle against the darkness because God is here and He is greater. i have no authority, but He has the authority. stay with me, child. gather with me. light is here.