water

midnight. it seems to be way too early to be writing as a prelude to bed at 9:30pm. do i change the time? how can i negotiate this? no. i shouldn't change the time. i need to try and sleep earlier so that i am more efficient all round. so if i am needing to do work at night then sleeping earlier will allow me to wake up earlier and do the work.

discovered after writing about mosquito bites that my dad has changed the broken screen in my room. grateful for this and hoping the 20 counts on each leg decreases soon.

finding it difficult to find words to say. i believe i have not been digesting enough words also for myself. it is late and and i am feeling myself having to catch up with my life. i know this isn't the right rhythm, i've yet to fall into ta better one. things need to continue with the mindset that how can i make time if i don't take time. my days never feel fidle but somehow i still feel like i never have enough time. it must be my thoughts. thoughts taking too much form and somehow taking up that much time.

i look at pope francis' favourite painting, the white crucifixion by marc chagall. Jesus, the Passion, is in the center of a scene of sin. cosmos in chaos. i remember what v said last night. where sin abounds, grace abounds even more. my weakness it is here i can feel it and i trust that grace is here too. that it is a river that runs deep, sin washed away. falling into the water . engulfed. i fall into the water. renewed