desperate

i fell asleep on my side, with my hands clasped in prayer in front of my face. it was stretched out a bit as if the clasp was reaching out as a tandem. i woke up after maybe 4 hours of sleep and discovered i had not moved from this position. before drifting off again i tried to feel for the anchoring. i had been in the position for 4 hours. my eyelids were heavy and puffed. there was a slight ache in my shoulder. my hands were comfortable nestled in each other. 

when i woke up again for the morning i put my hands together in the same way. and because of that sensation, hat movement, suddenly there was this strong wave of feeling that hit me that i had not been praying. even though i had desperately prayed 5 hours prior, before falling asleep. so i did. and i read the word. and i realised i had not read it yesterday. if this is the effect of not reading the word then i guess i am grateful. it means i am really becoming desperate and i want to stay in this dependence on God.

my word will not return to me void. i still remember when this verse was first discovered by the Family. seated around the glass table and me drawing or writing in the margins of my bible. the plant of abundance grew from this.