up and out

it's 1pm which means i'm 6 hours late for the sunrise post.

it was only meant to be 1.5 hours late, to accommodate the early kinder class. but i ended up having to do a lot of things.

i have been evaluating throughout the day whether i'd made a mistake in pushing this exercise back until now. but helping the principal with a student case was urgent and needed to happen right then.

before i was called down, i also ate a piece of bread first because my head was light from an empty stomach. so that pushed this exercise back.

in any case, so far this day has been okay and i feel a decent degree of focus and presence of mind. there are a lot of things to accomplish for the rest of this day which i'm hoping to do after this exercise.

the economics of an uncluttered brain: productivity of this exercise seems to boost my productivity beyond it, despite taking time away from other activities.

the principal cried after speaking with two students. they were so incredibly candid in their report of a serious incident. this is really something we lose as we get older. our minds and thought processes become so complex. when all is needed is honesty. they made an honest request for protection. for a better situation. everything children say may be a model of prayer.

i tried to imagine what the principal was feeling and thinking when she broke down. perhaps - the new perspective of how students have been affected by the case and its cause, new in a sense that it now had the candid voices of the children we just spoke to. maybe it is that she is leaving soon and she will miss the affection readily here in the grounds of school. maybe the unsafe feeling, an unpeaceful feeling in the wake of the incident.

i woke up this morning feeling like i had a fever. i closed my eyes again and prayed. not today Lord. too many things are meant to happen today. and in the coming weeks. give me strength. i must have fallen asleep for another 15 minutes and when i woke up, my head felt clearer, my throat less dry, body more alive with blood flowing through. thank you Lord.

the class i had was much better managed than the last. it was much more quiet, and the cl there were a few students who weren't able to do the activity, but i made the decision not to dwell - and i said they could try again next week. i think this is what i want my art/clay classes to be like. some where pressure is absent. and any effort is encouraged. i was really happy with the work that turned out from today's session. (i'm impartial to the bee). i need to remember to write this up - in fact, the whole week's lessons - up. up and out of the notebook.

maybe it's a good thing i didn't hoard as many of those ryman sketchbooks as i had planned to.